Undiscovered Purpose

Introducing Event (CBT Homepage Open Event)

2011-08-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

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Dreams...can they predict something?

2008-12-24T16:25:00.001-08:00

This has started to bug me quite a bit. I had a dream a little while back dealing with some good friends of mine, it's somewhat hard to translate, but I was sad, and the way I translated it was, I may never see them again. It's hard to tell what real meaning dreams have in this world, but this one in particular hit me right to the core. If I never see them again, I wish them the best and hope their lives run smoothly. I pray that I have no more haunting dreams, everything always seems to be based on bits and pieces of my memories...

College..Christmas Break...about time.

2008-12-06T16:40:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost over! There is technically 3 days of actual school left, although I will be there for a week and 2 days cause I'm responsible, the grindstone has finally approached...and it is quite stressful...I hate finals, they hate me and so on. I have made so many new friends this semester...it's pure awesome, and they actually came in many varieties instead of just boring. My life at Walmart is still going on, and of course it's still a pain in my back side. I have of course been battling the cold this week, and pray that it is almost over. My christmas break is going to be awesome, I will be sining at a Candlelight service and have 2 Christmas parties on that same day! Oh...I hope next semester goes by smoothly...

Where do I belong?

2008-04-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

Lately my heart has been feeling very heavy...and my spiritual fire feels like it is only flickering. A lot of changes have occured and I guess maybe I'm not used to it..the changes I have made to myself have somewhat been successful, but some situation I still couldn't get passed and that makes the burden even heavier. People at church have begun to notice I'm not my usual self and I won't tell anyone why...if you read this blog, you will know some of my information. Lately I have been feeling very down in my church, I feel like I'm not growing spiritually anymore and it makes me very sad, I feel that things are falling apart, and this may seem cowardice, but it makes me have thoughts of wanting to move on to a new church...but I hope that these feelings will subside. There is a song I heard a few times by Michael W. Smith called Place In This World, and it used to never affect me in anyway, but now I sometimes cry when I hear it, because I can now understand and relate to the words. Here are the words and the song.

Place In This World

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart thats hopeful
A head thats full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like im

Chorus:
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong
Is there a vision
That I can call my own
Show me im

Chorus

Why Can't I Let Go?

2008-04-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since I have posted on this blog, but I felt a need to today. As the title says and asks: Why Can't I Let Go? As of now I have been struggling with myself and people. I have talked to a close friend of mine who is a minister about this, and he has helped significantly, but that question always pops in my head...I believe it is now dangerous to have people you knew close to home be chosen as a great friend or possibly hero. It might be just me, but I get far too attached to people and now I regret that unique trait I have. I have already been in the process of trying to "forget" certain people as best I could to relieve some emotional stress, but I just can't seem to do it...I guess if people have that great an impact on me I'm not ment to forget them, but when those I look up to don't communicate with me it brings my spirits down significantly. I don't know what's to happen in the future, but God obviously has a reason for why I feel this way, and all I can do is just go with the flow. The song by Michael W. Smith: Friends gives me quite a peace of mind, but at the same time can bring tears to my eyes due to the fact that I don't always feel that way.

Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Cant believe the hopes hes granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But well keep you close as always
It wont even seem youve gone
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the lords the lord of them
And a friend will not say never
cause the welcome will not end
Though its hard to let you go
In the fathers hands we know
That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love gods given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy youll live in
Is the strength that now you show

But well keep you close as always
It wont even seem youve gone
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus

Thoughts on Moment of Truth

2008-01-24T17:56:00.000-08:00

I just saw the show Moment of Truth last night, and it is a very comical show, but ethic wise it is very poor. My parents seem to think it will cause a great deal of trouble and I do too. One thing I noticed is that it asks way to many questions that can cause divorce rates and possible death rates to increase. This game is not only unethical it's totally embarrassing. Is $10,000-$500,000 really worth all the risks that this show can cause?

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

As I grow older I learn not to take everything for granted, but I still fail at times. I realize that I have a very good life, and it's all thanks to the man who died for me, Jesus Christ. Without him nothing I have accomplished spiritually would have any value. Without him, the awesome people who have helped me spiritually would really matter. Although it has been a cold Easter, I know that the gorgeous weather will return, and I will continue to enjoy it! Has your heart been touched this Easter or maybe another occassion or just anytime? God has a plan for me and everyone else, and that plan is going to be awesome!

Awesome God

Happy New Years!!

2006-12-31T09:07:00.000-08:00

I found this to be quite original, but funny...the things you can do with Mentos. At least they weren't wasting the stuff by drinking it. Be careful tonight, and be responsible!

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-24T09:46:00.000-08:00

This is funny...

Have a Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy ThanksGiving!

2006-11-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year, even though my professors were big losers and gave me homework for Thanksgiving break, and yes I still have some assignments to do. Thanksgiving used to be just another holiday for me, nothing special...but this year it was different. Normally I'm under a ton of stress and I'm under some stress this week, but also this week my heart was at total peace! My heart was so peaceful that I wanted to start crying, it was a strange feeling. This peaceful heart of mine, was probably a prayer that I had done quite a long time ago, and it is now being answered, and I didn't even know how to handle it. I'm very thankful for this peace of mind! What special prayer that you made has been answered during Thanksgiving week? Did it prove to be quite a powerful experience? God is always looking after us, and I think he knows exactly what we need at the very right time we need it!

Marshall Slowly Returns

2006-11-05T09:24:00.000-08:00

Every Marshall game I go to they win, and really I don't think it is luck anymore, I think they are slowly progressing to the team they once were in the past, a team that was if I have been told properly to be just as good as WVU. Last nights game was just awesome in the 1st quarter, but during the 2nd quarter I started getting a little edgy, the 3rd quarter was also a bit risky, but then the 4th quarter came around and they won with flying colors. I hope they make it to the bowl game!

UCF Fall Retreat

2006-10-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of the Retreat, I can't wait for it to begin! It's been so long since I have been around all my friends and this will be an awesome experience for me! An even bigger surprise is Jake being there as a speaker. These three days are going to be pure awesome, and will relieve some of my stress that college has brought upon me this week. I know everything is going to be great. Just 12 more hours till its time haha.

Forgiveness, The Stress Reliever

2006-10-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

After hearing about forgiveness in my youth group class, it finally hit me, I do have some issues in my past that I need to just forgive, so I can move on with my life. Although it's really hard to forgive this situation, even though it's a pretty stupid one, it's time I finally made peace and moved on. My challenge to you is, are you able to let go of a grudge that has been with you for years, or are you still willing to keep that stress wrapped around you for many more years?

Baptize Me

2006-09-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

In conclusion to the baptism series at church, I now present the lyrics to the song Baptize Me, by Jaci Velasquez. To hear the actual song, e-mail me and I will send it to you.

In the desert of my shame
I have found myself to blame
Now I thirst for innocence
And Your blood is there to quench
Pour Your life into my soul
Let the cleansing waters flow
Make me white as snow

CHORUS:
Hear me as I pray
Wash my sins away
Drown me in Your grace
Baptize me
As my lips confess
Fill this emptiness
With Your holiness
Baptize me

Touch my eyes and give me sight
Father, bathe me in Your light
At your feet I'll always be
Until the day Your face I'll see
Let Your words consume my heart
Lead me to the deepest part
And the healing starts

CHORUS

(Scripture)
There is a river of life flowing from the throne of God (Rev 22:1)
There is One who came by water and blood
There is the Spirit who testifies to this (1 John 5:6)
Anyone who believes in the Son has this testimony in his heart (1 John 5:10)
Behold the Lamb of God, who washes away the sins of the world (John 1:29)
Baptize me

CHORUS

Falling Behind?

2006-09-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

Life for me right now is beginning to get complicated, with this past year of so many people moving away, and me starting college, it hasn't occured to me until now, but am I losing touch with everyone, am I truly falling behind? I don't know how to stay connected with people anymore and as I grow older I lose so much focus. I thought I had a dramatic change about myself, but sometimes I wonder if it was just a temporary change that I thought could change my whole perspective on life. I look at pictures of people, pictures of fun times they spent together doing something meaningful, and I realize that I don't have pictures like that which means that I'm probably doing something wrong. I don't want to be the person who looks at other peoples pictures and wish that I was in it too, I want to be the person who gets to have memories of great times I had with others. Is this another situation that requires some time to accomplish?

Marshall University Vs. WVU who will win?!

2006-09-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

Okay people! I know it seems pretty slim, but I'm sticking with Marshall, even if they lose, they are still my number 1 team. Let's see if a miracle can happen today!

We Are Marshall...

Update:
We lost! Oh well....there is always next year! You guys still did a good job to me!

It's My Birthday!!

2006-08-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday, and I'm sooo old, ok so I lied, 19 isn't that old of an age, but I'm still closer to 20!

It All Begins Now

2006-08-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow is the big day, the day I start college! It's going to be a whole new world, and I can't wait to meet all the new people, and make new friends! I'm also very scared at the same time, since I have to learn everything all over again, and the challenges I will face will be a lot more difficult. I pray that this will be a very successful year!

VBS Thoughts

2006-08-19T09:11:00.000-07:00

You could either call this an aftermath or a great event...and for me it was both ways, when it comes to the aftermath part, I'm just very tired, but when it comes to the great event, I feel that these kids learned something very important this week! I thought this was an excellent VBS and I'm glad I was able to be a part of it! The best part about it was the sining and dancing, and yes Toney dominated all of us at that hahaha. If we have one next year, I hope it's even better!

On My Cross

2006-07-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

I found this video, with the song sung by FFH called: On My Cross, this song always brings tears to my eyes, for the fact that Jesus gave his life for each and everyone of us. Warning, this video is directly off the movie The Passion, and some scenes may be graphic.

On My Cross - Featuring clips from The Passion

Here are the lyrics, which I hope our church could learn, because this is an awesome song with a meaning so great!

On My Cross - FFH

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow
Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
And after You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That You could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

Those were my nails
that was my crown
that pierced Your hands
and Your brow
those were my thorns
those were my scorns
those were my tears that fell down
and just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
and after You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
on my cross

Those were my nails
that was my crown
that pierced Your hands
and your brow
those were my thorns
those were my scorns
those were my tears that feel down
and just as You said it would be
You did it all for me
and after You counted the cost
You took my shame
my blame on my cross

After You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
on my cross.

Church Camp 2006

2006-07-21T14:25:00.000-07:00

This has been an awesome experience for me, spiritually, emotionally, and physically! The first time I attended church camp, I hated it, due to the people, but this year it was truly something else. What happened during this awesome week was some pretty fun games, devotions, sermons, food, and tournaments. By the middle of the week I hit one of my random depression moments making my day miserable, but I prayed for this burden to be lifted from me, and later that day God spoke right through Jake Kaufman with a message that hit me directly where the issue needed tending to, I want to continue to thank Jake so much for what he has done, and I love him soo much! I think I will go to church camp again next year! My question for you is this: If you went to the same camp that I went to this week, did anything that happened there spark a fire in your heart? I know it did for me! I made a small slide show from the pictures that I took during this week and added some christian art as well, enjoy!

Church Camp 2006
Written On My Heart: Plus One

Florida Trip Day 6

2006-07-13T13:03:00.000-07:00

Well today is the final day for me in Florida, I didn't do too much, just threw a few balls in the pool and eat at the Restaurant called Top of Florida, which is like 26 stories high! I shall return to West Virginia, but the funs not over yet, I have church camp next!

Florida Trip Day 5

2006-07-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty funny as well, one of my friends was getting beat up at the pool by a bunch of chicks. I got crushed by massive evil waves, and they wouldn't stop hitting me..not to mention I was very tired. The trip is almost over just 2 days to go, I wonder what will happen tomorrow?

Florida Trip Day 4

2006-07-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Well, today was just plain hillarious everything about it was fun! I met my friend again and of course the big chick magnet he is, he found himself a bunch of girls to try and hypnotize, but ended up with nothing at least in my opinion anyways. I made 2 more new friends today and they are leaving tomorrow, but it was fun while it lasted when we played some form of volleyball in the swimming pool. I hope tomorrow is going to be fun too, even though 3 of my friends are leaving.

Florida Trip Day 3

2006-07-10T15:13:00.000-07:00

Today was just plain depressing...I was basically stuck in a hotel room all day, and the other thing I did was swim, without any of my friends being there..I hope tomorrow is better.

Florida Trip Day 1-2

2006-07-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in Florida right now, and it's been great so far! The first day really wasn't that fun since it was just traveling..then we got into our rooms really fast! They are nice rooms by the way! On the next day I made 2 new friends named Eric and Erica. That's all the information I have on my trip so far, I may post so more!

Happy 4th of July!

2006-07-04T05:30:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is going to enjoy all the fireworks tonight! I might get to see them, if they are still going when I'm done with work.

Will things stop going downhill?

2006-07-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

This week has well, sucked really bad...and all it has been doing is going down, and further down..from people passing away, to my aunts house being broken into at 2 in the morning with the mysterious man who said he would return..these events have really stressed me emotionally and physically. With all these depressing events happening, I'm starting to feel bad about Church Camp..will everything go smooth..will I be happy when I go? Or will I be sadly mistaken? God please calm my stress just a little bit, so I can think a little more clearly.

Tri-County Work Camp

2006-06-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I wasn't able to make it to the first day of the work camp, but I did attend the dinner and devotion. On the first day everyone still seemed very uncomfortable around eacher. I was able to attend the full work camp on the second day, and it was HOT!!!! The food Ruby made was awesome! You just can't beat homemade food! I did some weedeating, and picked weeds out of a garden. When it was time for dinner, I noticed the most wonderful thing, everyone was integrated as one big happy youth group! The one thing I have always wanted to happen for a long time! I also made two new friends that day, and that's one thing I love about these youth type functions is the ability to make new friends! The devotion was excellent as well, filled with laughter and serious thoughts. In the end when it was all over, I wasn't able to make a personal goodbye to my new friends, nor could a find a way to, so I just said see you later! The was an experience that I shall never forget and I hope the next time, I will make even more new friends and get to know more youth groups better! This truly was an indescribable moment!

Indescribable

Your Hero Is?

2006-06-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

Did you ever have a cartoon hero that you wanted to be like when you were little? Post who it is and why. I never had one haha.

Cartoon Heroes

Looking Back..

2006-06-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night..and that dream had to do with my best friend in high school, what made this dream so hard for me when I woke up was that we did fun things together, going places and truly having an awesome friendship...but of course none of this ever seems to happen in real life. I look back and I thought I had opportunities and yes I did ask him if he wanted to do stuff, but I guess his busy schedule got in the way (or his girlfriend). Could I have made a difference? Can I still do something about it? I sent him a text message asking if he wanted to do something before college starts...I just hope he accepts my request. Sometimes I think the dreams I have could possibly serve a very deep purpose and I don't realize it.

Is it a surprise?

2006-06-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

People tend to think that surprises still exist in this world, they do, but usually the surprises come from the hearts of young children, once you hit your teenage years, this thing called surprise rarely ever works. Here are some ideas that no longer work to make a surprise for a person of my age, going into a store and trying to keep the one whose birthday is tomorrow away from the person purchasing the presents, that's just a big give away. Next is acting so strange, as we all know this is definitely not cover up for a surprise type of tactic. Lastly don't blame any mishaps on the person that is supposedly responsible for the guy having a birthday the next day, that only makes it more noticeable of something that is about to happen. Now that I have you drawn into this interesting concept it's time to apply it to something that gives this topic some meaning. As I learned in church, if people around you can't tell you are a Christian without you telling them, then you have done something very wrong...does this ring a bell? Is this a surprise to anyone? If a person is surprised that you are a Christian then...well...I think it's time for a reality check. I know that I'm not perfect and nobody else is either, but in order to make people think you are a Christian from my perspective, you need to be quite different from the crowd. How people saw me as a Christian was through my innocent action of following the rules, rarely getting into trouble, and the way my conscience acts in certain situations. These are a few things from my perspective that people see in me as a Christian. Don't make people act surprised that you are a Christian, show through expressions, the voice effect doesn't always work. Don't let people be surprised about you, hopefully they know what you are by how you act, and not by what you say. I personally don't like surprises, due to the fact that they can be very scary depending on the situation. What's your goal in life? Are you wanting to surprise everyone about what you are, or do you want them to know who you are without it being personally confronted?

I Finally Graduated!

2006-06-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was the big finale, my graduation! This is truly a major chapter coming to a close in my life, but only opens to an even bigger chapter, this chapter is known as college, but I'm not going to think about that at this moment, I want to reflect on what happened last night. During graduation while sitting with all my classmates, I learned that I may have had more friends at that school than I may have realized, but it was just the last night where everyone is just saying goodbye. I had my picture taken with my best friend (at least still in heart), and we made a vowl to be friends forever. I talked with some more people, looking at them, I see grown men and women now...no ordinary people anymore, we are truly ready for the real world, a world of experiencing the good and the bad things that is being thrown at us. I didn't cry, but I was getting close to it. For those who missed the graduation, that's ok, I know you were probably busy and would have come if you had the chance.

That's What Friends Are For

Who Will Be The Next American Idol?

2006-05-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm currently viewing tonights final episode, and I vote all on Taylor, he seems to have his head on straight and his morals seem pretty strong as well. My reasons for this is how that skank singing with him forced his hand on her hip, and he instantly removes it from that general area. The reason for not voting on Katharine is that she doesn't really seem to have as much emotion and fun with her songs. The nerd who couldn't sing was so funny on stage and it got really funny when Clay appeared. This show truly is good for people, you just got to have some talent to get somewhere.

Post who you think should win or should have won!

Update:
The Winner is Taylor Hicks! My predictions are so awesome, my greatest congrats to Taylor on his win!

I Want To Change The World

2006-05-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

I got bored and I heard a song which was called Change The World, but I decided to use christian type lyrics to make it better. Don't criticize me to much.

Introduction:
I want to change the world, live a life filled with love and care, walking along side with Christ, and when I feel alone, I know that someone will be there, just have some faith!

When I walk into a world of hate people try to bring me down, and I think to myself it's going to be ok, because I have God on my side, and nothing can take that away from me.

Chorus:
I want to change the world, learn to be a firm example, and lead others wrong, through faith I can succeed, and hopefully make many people believe.

As the journey down this narrow path lengthens, the depression and burdens of this world thickens, and it looks as if all hope is gone, then some friends lend me a helping hand to make me strong.

Chorus:
I want to change the world, growing up in a family, that will forever help me, for when I need some support, and will show the up most guidance.

When the journey finally comes to an end, I plan on returning to his open arms for an eternity of peace and happiness.

That ends this song, I couldn't really make it match the official lyrics, in fact I probably wasn't even close, so basically this just came from my heart. The one thing I learned in just this one year is, that I would have gotten no where without my church family, I love them all dearly!

Baccalaureate

2006-05-21T19:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, this isn't some happy post on my expeience with this event that comes with graduation, but I shall tell it how I saw it through my eyes. I come in and of course I feel weird, I see my worst enemy from school (which so happens to be in show choir), which makes it even more awkward. I sit in the pues for a bit, then I get an awkward boredom feeling, so I begin to walk some to ease the boredome. Then a few more Seniors come and and we go into another room with everyone else. We are in 2 lines both with exactly 25 students in each row (wow, only 50 students out of like 231 haha what a surprise). We then march into the sanctuary, and sit in the front pues. The songs these kids sang just made me want to gag a lung up, I mean geez...who sings the song We Are A Circle of Friends, when over half of us probably don't like each other to begin with? The sermon was pretty boring, I would prefer my Youth Minister to do it instead he always makes things interesting. Then we have another song then the corny lighting of a candle with my enemy saying a prayer, then it's all over! I was burning up inside my gown. All I can say is that it's almost over! Till the next episode of my life in the world of graduation shall continue soon!

Last Day At Last!

2006-05-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, today was my last day at Hurricane High, and I earned every bit of this vacation! I made a 100% on my Music Appreciation test, and that was basically the biggest thing I did today. I'm not really feeling any emotional thoughts about the students at school, but that's ok, I will be starting over new. I will miss some, but they will probably come to the same college with me. I now present to you a song that to me means the ending leading to a new beginning! This song is in Japanese, but there are words in english at the bottom, read them carefully.

Everlasting

Song of The Day

2006-05-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

The Rock

An excellent song that gives me hope, and raises my spirit.

Memories of yesterday at the Prom

2006-05-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

This years prom dominated last years by a long run. The dancing music wasn't as bad either, not as much rap was used, more 80's music involved. The chocolate fountain was awesome! Me an Rachel danced quite a bit, we did the Cha Cha Dance, the Moccarena and the YMCA. I did the Electric Slide, I was a little rusty, it was quite an interesting show I pulled off. We also got free keychains and T-shirts. We watched Posiden, that movie was good, but very scary, I think it should have been rated R, the violence was pretty massive. We made it home around 3:30 in the morning. 4 hours of sleep just isn't enough for me. The next big event is graduation, I can't wait!

Proms Tomorrow!

2006-05-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

The time has finally come at last, the Hurricane High School prom is tomorrow, and I actually have a date! There are some things I don't like about proms in my generation, and that is the use of Rap as dance music. If you have music like that, it promotes the nastiest dancing, for example, bumping and grinding (which I still don't really know what that is), but it's a dirty dance and I hate it. Another thing that makes me crazy is people getting hammered, whats the fun in getting drunk? I'm sure there will be some nice snacks to munch on, and there is a good photographer this time. I hope no one gets hurt leaving the prom.

Thoughts Of Tonights Occasion

2006-05-07T19:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a night that I will never forget, because I was actually honored for something. What made it even more special was that Jake showed up for it and we had our pictures taken together. Tonight I felt so much love from everyone, that I wish that this could have gone forever! I have been waiting for this moment for a long time, and my anticipation of this wasn't even close to precise it was beyond my imagination, and I'm so grateful for everyone who put so much time into it. It will take alot for the next Seniors to match up to us, but I think they can do it.
I know how much everyone at the Senior Banquet loved my song for the slide show, so I decided to post it for everyone to listen to! Enjoy!

Go West

Thoughts of Graduation

2006-05-04T13:13:00.000-07:00

It seems like forever, for me to reach this amazing peak in my life, the capability of graduating! The journeys I had to take to get here was no smooth path, it seems that every step was filled with rocks. In Elementary School, life was just simple, and stuff didn't matter, although I thought I was really ugly at that stage in life. Then I come to Middle School, words can't explain how much I hated those years, I mean, I had to deal with these stupid slips called reminders (only in my 7th grade year did I receive some). Popularity started to be the big thing, and drama just started getting more intense, it sort of reminded me of a prison, your boundaries were limited, and you had to try very hard not to screw up. Now I come to High School, the place that many people seem to dream about, and I only find it to be just a little better than Middle School. The popularity is just maxed out at this point, and don't get me started on the drama issues. Dealing with so many evils at once could drive someone crazy. Everything just seemed to come out of the closet when I came here. Depression began to take effect in my Freshman and Sophomore years. My Junior year, I was just starting to get out of that stage, since it was at such a serious degree. In my Senior year, I started to know who I could and couldn't trust, at that moment, I really didn't have any friends at all. My maturity at church began to increase quite rapidly, at least that's what people say. I began to be very active in the church, and realize the value that everyone meant to me, I wanted to be visible, and a few Youth Ministers helped me reach that goal, and now I seem to be doing pretty well. It's officially almost time for me to graduate. I'm excited for this event because I won't have to deal with a lot of the students I knew from High School, and I get to have a new start at life to see if I can be better, which is the plan. I know that God will lead me down the right path, and many people will help along the way.

Greatest Love of All

Praise Everywhere!

2006-04-30T06:22:00.000-07:00

Finally, today is the Area Wide Youth Rally, and I'm so excited to meet more people from other churches to praise the Lord with them....well, I will probably praising God through the sound room, but it's meaning is just as strong haha. I hope to make more friends tonight, and I hope everyone has a blast!

Update On Event
This youth night was ok, but had one problem....EVERYONE STAYED CLEAR OF EACH OTHER!!! It's like they were making a remake of white and black segregated schools, people just wouldn't leave their groups that they always hang with...I tried to sit at another groups table, but it was full. I forgot about this problem always occurring, and it brings back my terrible past, when I was alone. I pray that some kind of change happens for the next Praise Everywhere. If the next Area Wide Youth Night ends up being another Area Wide Youth Segregation, they need to stop having them in the first place, or it's meaning was done in vain, I loved the idea during the service where all the churches mixed up into one big family, no cliques, no barriers, just one unit, the way it should be, but of course after it was all over everyone retreats to their barriers and back to step one. Someday this will surely improve, I just don't know when...

People Are Truly What Makes Life Worth Living For

2006-04-27T19:24:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, oh lets say around 17 years and below, I couldn't stand people, I despised them and dreaded being around them. I realized this year, as my life took a direct U-turn, that people is what life was all about to me. Being able to be with people made my depressing gloomy life, into a more pleasant and fun life. Suddenly youth starting becoming a valuable meaning to me, so I started helping out with that. After I started noticing that I was special to people, I felt the same way about them, I felt more like family everytime I stepped into that building. I hope I become a good influence on someone, just like everyone has been to me.

Death Occurs When You Least Expect It

2006-04-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

The news of a teacher at our school passing away was quite a shock. You never expect someone to die, especially a teacher only a semester after she leaves. This lady died of something, no one knows for sure of what it was, but it was on Sunday as Spring Break was coming to a close. I speek of this news only to say that you never know what terrible things could happen to you or someone else within a short span of time, so if you care about someone or you want to accomplish something before that unknown time occurs, you should do something about it. Don't let regret or any other sad things dwell on you. I may have not known this teacher very well, but I do remember talking to her, and it was sad, but these small memories can have a great impact on someone depending on what it was.

Another Meaningful Song

2006-04-23T11:57:00.000-07:00

I came across another song, and it truly states a lot of awesome words. The song is by Wayne Watson.

For Such A Time As This

Now, all I have is now
To be faithful
To be holy
And to shine
Lighting up the darkness
Right now, I really have no choice
But to voice the truth to the nations
A generation looking for God

For such a time as this
I was placed upon the earth
To hear the voice of God
And do His will
Whatever it is
For such a time as this
For now and all the days He gives
I am here, I am here
And I am His
For such a time as this

You - do you ever wonder why
Seems like the grass is always greener
Under everybody else's sky
But right here, right here for this time and place
You can live a mirror of His mercy
A forgiven image of grace

Chorus

Can't change what's happened till now
But we can change what will be
By living in holiness
That the world will see Jesus

Chorus

Bonfire, The Place To Meet New People

2006-04-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Today at the Kenney's house a bonfire was held. They used a dead tree to make the fire, and we ate hot dogs, pie, and some type of fruit salad stuff. I met a lot of new people from Marshall and some old ones. The people were Japanese students and the NorWay Church Youth Campus Minister, he seems like a really nice guy, but acts sort of backwards, and I couldn't start a conversation for some reason. I was told that he will hunt me down when I come to college, lets see if that really happens, it will be interesting. I think it's great to meet new people, you learn things you never knew before, or you just get to say you met someone that day, who knows, I might make a ton of friends when I get to college! Geez...I still have like 3 weeks or so of High School left...WHEN WILL IT END!!!!

Recovered Finally...?

2006-04-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

As many people may already know, I have been sick with a massive sore throat, and feverish activity from a friend since Saturday evening. I think 3 days of this illness is enough, and I think I finally recovered from this piece of turmoil that was ruining my Spring Break! Who knows what tomorrow is going to present me, I just pray that it's all over and I can enjoy what is left of my break. Thanks to this cursed illness I now probably know every commercial on the comedy central by heart, since they played the same garbage over and over again, not to mention that I saw a lot of funny stuff! Being sick always made me realize how much I miss feeling better and when I do feel better I want to make the best of it!

Happy Easter!

2006-04-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

I want to wish everyone a Happy Easter, it's more than just candy, it's also about Jesus Christ! I present the song: Coming Out Of The Dark to you.

Click here to launch music video

COMING OUT OF THE DARK

video code provided by singingfool.com

My Steps To A Decent Life.

2006-04-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

Although I have only been alive on this world for only 18 years, the drama and troubles I have seen are quite tremendous and I decided on making a list of items that could possibly be a solution to some of these problems.

1. Problem: People complain about their love life in High School, going into complete drama mode, making so many terrible decisions.
1. Solution: If people don't want to deal with this kind of trouble, they shouldn't get started in the first place, personally I think it's a very irrational decision anyways.

2. Problem: People drop their many burdens off to the church that they go to.
2. Solution: The problems of others should not be just thrown at the church, that just causes more worries and burdens on other individuals, instead, they should seek help from maybe just a few individuals that deal with these troubles that can help them get through it in a more stress free way.

3. Problem: People who can't drive.
3. Solution: You should always follow the speed limit, and try not to go to far under it. If you are from Ohio, and you drive well, then this isn't for you, but Ohio drivers seem to be way too pokey when they drive, and that could cause wrecks, so stop it!

4. Problem: Girls at school that got pregnant and complain about it.
4. Solution: You shouldn't have gone that far in a relationship in the first place, in other words, refer to problem number 1.

5. Problem: People who think they are better than everyone else.
5. Solution: Get over yourself, there is going to always be somebody one step ahead of you, that person is God. Just be yourself, God likes you just the way you are.

6. Problem: People who think that God doesn't exist.
6. Solution: It's time for a reality check, the bible isn't a lie, and God isn't either, think about it, do you honestly think that you and me and this Earth just magically appeared from a massive explosion? For those who worship idols, it would take quite a bit more time to explain this topic, you should come to our church for some great information.

These are just a few problems that I have seen in my life so far, and I didn't feel like listing anymore, but these are pretty important topics, if people would just use these solutions, their lives might be a little better. God is always their to hear your troubles, pray about it, and have the faith to hold on.

He Ain't Heavy

2006-04-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

I came upon this song, and I thought it reminded me a lot of my church, as we are all pretty close.

Read these lyrics carefully, they are very awesome words.

HE AIN'T HEAVY HE'S MY BROTHER

The road is long
with a many a winding turns
that leads us to who knows where,
who knows where.
But I'm strong,
strong enough to carry him.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

So on we go.
His welfare is of my concern.
No burden is he to bear,
we'll get there.
For I know
he would not encumber me.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

If I'm laden at all,
I'm laden with sadness
that everyone's heart
isn't filled with the gladness
of love for one another.

It's a long, long road
from which there is no return.
While we're on the way to there,
why not share?
And the load
doesn't weigh me down at all.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

He's my brother.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...

.hack//sign episode 3

2006-04-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!

.hack//sign episode 2

2006-04-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

I know you are just anxious to see the next episode so here you go!

.hack//sign Episode 1

2006-04-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, to make my blog a little more fun, I have decided to run a cartoon for those of you who are bored and have nothing else to do. This cartoon is a serious of like 26 episodes, and some of the episodes probably don't work. Here is the detail, this cartoon is for all audiences, there is no bad language and no blood, and the storyline is very interesting. Enjoy Episode 1!

We all have our opinions on life.

2006-04-01T19:45:00.000-08:00

Two days ago, I was talking online with a person, and it was sort of a personal discussion, and usually personal discussions are dealt with differently than a normal chat, but this one ended up being a big war and had many disputes. This person tends to think that she is more in touch with the world than I do, she may have done more important things in life so far, but tearing my esteem and life apart by saying I don't know what life really is just takes someone like me to a whole other level of anger. People who think because they have done something big in their life are a lot more wise than me are at the biggest fault, to me that shows they have a lot of growing up to do(especially those who are only 2 or 3 years older than me), as everyone on this planet does, but these people especially. We all dwell on something that isn't positive sometimes, if we didn't then we wouldn't truly be human. Humans are inperfect beings, and everything isn't always smelling as pretty as a rose.

Miracles beyond human beings.

2006-03-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

I received and e-mail about a dog that has a terrible handicap, but what is so unique about it is this dog only walks on its back legs, in other words it walks like a human. I find this dog to be blessed with a God given talent, it's amazing how bad things can have quite a positive outcome.

A Miracle

Time To Spice My Blog Up!

2006-03-27T18:59:00.000-08:00

That's right you heard me! My blog has been either about gloomy, sad, or just plain emotional posts, well this post will make you want to dance! Everyone knows this song, so if you are sad just listen to this video and dance! Dance till your hear stops (well not that much)! This is just a post to make people laugh and actually enjoy something on this blog of mine! Tell me what you think of it!

YMCA

Can I get a woot woot?

Unity Is A Blessing

2006-03-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

Today at church after Toney's awesome sermon, the most wonderful news was released to everyone today by Danny saying that he and Sarah are engaged, and will be married soon. I'm so glad that they are going to be together forever! After hearing this, I realized that time is going by really fast, and someday I will be making that announcement. I love those two very dearly and I wish them the best of luck!

Like A Rose

Can this be explained?

2006-03-21T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'm going through another episode of emotional disturbances. I randomly get angry, and my nerves are out of control at times..I think I might know some of the problems, one of which happens to be me making a totally bad person of myself by thinking someone has something against me, and the reason for his actions is that he doesn't talk to people he doesn't know, and I kinda went a little overboard with his actions before I knew the reason why...other reasons could be school, and still missing people. I pray that God will ease some of these worries and thoughts from my memory as it is only a major hindrance to me. I hope to someday solve some of these problems in the near future, and apologize for anything I have said ( or emailed) to a certain individual. God has a plan for me and it's a good one, but it sounds like it will take some time to discover what his plan is.

Living Under Anothers Image

2006-03-14T14:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone in one time or another in their life have had a special individual that they looked up to, one they want to be like. Some people look up to famous singers, other look up to movies stars, and others look up to family members. I used to look up to movie stars, but later I grew up realizing that that kind of admiration toward something that big was very irrational and only leads to false hopes. As from many past posts I do look up to a few people and these people helped mold my life quite drastically this year. One of these people I look up to is Toney, our Youth Minister, what this man has gone through in his life has influenced me in ways that he probably never knew, but in recent thoughts he made me think more positive towards life itself. Another person that I look up to is Jake, as many people know through positive comments, but this went to a whole other level of admiration. He built my confidence and made me feel like a true individual. I probably went a little too far with the "I wanna be like you" attitude and started dressing up in his type of clothing (not to mention that I do look good in the gear), but I feel even better about myself in that kind of image. One lady even thought I looked like him from a certain angle (not too shabby on my part). What makes these two individuals to be great idols for someone is the fact that they are christians that have a strong and faithful foundation for God, and to me that kind of idol is better than anything else.

Life Is Just A Big Mirror

2006-03-09T17:39:00.000-08:00

Today, I had one of those experiences where people say things about others that is so uplifting and makes that person or group of people look good, and if you talk to them in person or watch how they act, you don't see that uplifting description that you heard. This little story of course starts out near the end of school, as the Hurricane Show Choir performs to everyone. What always gets me is when their director always says that these kids are your friends (maybe for some), but in reality some of them act like snobs and make others feel bad, and of course one of those people that feels the effects is me. Don't get me wrong, they did an excellent performance, and I praise them for their God given talents, but their attitudes off the stage can be quite lethal. Now you are probably wondering what this has to do with life being just a big mirror, well, some of those choir members are great people, but some of the ones you make friends with basically leave you in the dust due to popularity and have their own special cliques that you couldn't ever get into. One thing I have learned while gaining the useless knowledge at school is that almost anyone you talk to could just be a fake image of something you like, but in truth you know that the real image is something you never wanted to have to face.

Bowling To Help People With Cancer

2006-03-04T16:15:00.000-08:00

Today was our Bowling to help people with cancer. It turned out better than I expected it to turn out, we had tons of fun and many laughs! Although I got quite a few gutter balls and *ahem* some fouls (which really embarrassed me) it was great! I'm just glad that I could be part of an effort that helps people in need.

Times Are Changing..

2006-02-28T18:05:00.000-08:00

Life used to be so simple in the past, with all the inappropriate behaviors locked away behind a closet door. The orientation of genders were either boy and girl or not spoken about. Movies had very extreme requirements in order to be even shown to the public. In today's time, all of this is completely out of proportion, with people showing their true nature to the public, somethings shouldn't be seen. Movies today are so revealing and the ratings keep getting more pathetic as our generations advance, with movies in the PG-13 rating, to me some of these movies should be rated R. This world is really starting to turn into a big mess. I may sound like someone way out of my age range, but things like this sort of worry me. I can't even imagine what God is even thinking of us right now. There is one thing that is in a way positive to today's society and it's the fact that we can choose our own religion without the fear of being harmed or made fun of by others, although some still do it. I know that my knowledge of all this is probably a little inexperienced, but everything starts out somewhere.

The Sad Trip Is Over!

2006-02-26T16:58:00.000-08:00

Today, I visited the Dunbar Church of Christ to see Jake for the last time. I told him that I would miss him dearly and that I loved him. My sad roadtrip is finally over! My plate is clean and I can return to my happy self once more! I appreciate all those who put up with me for the past few weeks when I was in drama mode. God has proven correct once again and made me stronger than ever! This new chapter in my life feels like it's going to be a great one! Time to celebrate with the song: Everyday, by Hillsong and Delirious!

My Eyes Have Finally Open

2006-02-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

After a time of depression because of Jake moving away, and my Gradfathers passing, my heart opened up a whole new view of things along with what Steve Kenney told me. I need not be upset about Jake leaving anymore, because I will see him again someday, although I will miss him alot and I know that he will always be my friend. My Grandfather is in Heaven with God, nothing beats that prize! I'm going give those two troubles to God, and let him take care of them now. Now I have to deal with Trigonometry, which is a very big burden to me. I will make it, and I will be strong!

Wind Beneath My Wings

Heavens Gates Finally Open..

2006-02-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

Well, my Grandfather is now on his death bed..the doctors can do nothing more for him, it is now a matter of time before God takes him to the kingdom of heaven. He lived 84 years of a good christian life, and now he gets to get the final rest he deserves. I hope that when he dies that he is at peace. I now present you the music video: Tears In Heaven as a tribute to him.

Winterfest Reflections

2006-02-19T15:38:00.000-08:00

This years Winterfest, to me was the best one yet, but usually when great things happen, sad things follow right behind them..I will detail more on those factors in a bit, but for now I will share some of my experiences of this trip. With the topic being Rock Solid, quite a bit of information was presented to everyone about how much do you know Jesus Christ, and are you able to explain yourself about him to someone if they do ask you for proof. Well, I will say for sure, that there is proof that all this exists, through ancient artifacts found in Israel. To me that is proof enough to stop an arguement, but I guess for some it's just not enough. There was a lot of beautiful singing, but sadly I lost my voice for that weekend and couldn't really sing. There was plenty of christian comedy that could bring anyones spirit up. What also made Winterfest so special, was being able to walk around with some people I rarely are around with and eat at nice restaurants and have fun, which has a family kind of feeling to it. That's the positive feedback from Winterfest, now for the sad parts, as from the previous post before about Jake leaving, I really didn't get to say goodbye to him the way I planned it, so I did it by phone, but I really want to perform it in person, but just by seeing him at Winterfest made it really difficult to accept the fact that he is leaving. Another sad thing is the Kenneys are moving also, but much later. I hate it when people move away, I feel alone and devastated. I never shed so many tears in one weekend, in a way it felt pretty good to finally let out some of my pain for others to comfort me about. I can't wait for the next Winterfest to experience more powerful meanings, and be reunited with those who have moved away..

Happy Valentines Day

2006-02-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

To some Valentines Day is a wonderful holiday, but this year for me it became a sad holiday..what made it so sad was looking at Jake Kaufmans blog stating that he is moving away, which I never expected at least not yet. I know God has big plans for him, but the fact that I gained a new wonderful friend, and then he moves away, just devastated me. My emotions as of now are very scattered, and my concentration is very dull. I hope I get to see him one last time, which is the Winterfest trip if I even see him at all. Saying goodbye to someone is very hard and I'm very bad at it, since I start to cry at the thought and especially in person. I do wish him the very best and the church that he goes to will be very blessed to have such a spirited individual to spread the word of God. It may not be the end, but this chapter in my life is almost over, and the next one will surely bring more hardships as well as pleasure. I wish you all a Happy Valentines Day.

Dreams

2006-02-12T18:43:00.000-08:00

It is said that some people stay young because they have a very active imagination. I honestly think this is very true, I myself have a very broad imagination. What makes things even better is when an adult has a broad imagination, my reasons for this opinion is because adults that don't have broad imagination are usually very uptight and boring, possibly more grumpy than those who can have fun. People I know of that are prime examples of fun are Youth Ministers, they keep in touch with us youth, which keeps them acting young and basically in touch with what is happening in our generation making them great influences over many other adults. With all this in mind I'm going to give a definition of Dream that I think it stands for.

Desire
Reflection
Enchanting
Active
Memorable

If people don't have an imagination, their lives will probably be more dark and gloomy, but with an imagination, they will be so much happier.

Living to Die

2006-02-10T18:23:00.000-08:00

The fact that I wrote this post is that with living on this planet, there is one prerequisite that all must abide by, and that would be death. We live to die, and it haunts me all the time, I always wonder, why was I even born. My Grandfather might die if something doesn't happen soon..and the more I hear of this the more that death keeps pestering my heart. I still can't imagine myself dying...and the fact that others close to me are soon going to meet that fate makes me very unstable. I don't want to know of people dying. Once you do die, as I would think to myself, the toughest journey is over, and now you wait for your judgement. At this point the tables turn, now you die to live, hopefully for eternity in heaven. This song I found expresses this very event.

Light Your World

Two doors down one rocking chair is rocking
She sits there all alone, her husband dead and gone
The best years of her life they spent together
He was always strong, but now she's on her own
And the telephone never rings
No one laughs, no one sings
It's quiet there
Does anyone care?

(Chorus) Light your world
Let the love of God shine through
In the little things you do
Light your world
And though your light may be
Reaching only two or three
Light your world

A knocking at her door breaks the silence
She looks out to see a little boy from down the street
She cracks the door, surprised that he came over
Flowers in his hand like a little gentleman
He said, 'I picked these just for you
I hope you like the color blue
Could I stay a while
I love to see you smile.'

(Repeat Chorus) Light your world
Let the love of God shine through
In the little things you do
Light your world
And though your light may be
Reaching only two or three
Light your world

It only takes a little time
To show someone how much you care
It only takes a little time
To answer someone's biggest prayer

(Repeat Chorus)

Once Again

2006-02-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

I found this song and listened to it. The words are very real and tell a deep message if you listen and read the words as they are displayed in the video. I know as many others, that we don't thank God enough for what he did for us, and this song expresses just that.

Serving God, anyone can do it!

2006-02-07T14:36:00.000-08:00

I think that some people think that they aren't doing anything to serve God, but truly they probably don't realize that they probably are serving him. I was in those shoes at one time or another. What made me open my eyes further was the fact that the church needed me for the sound room, and during one sermon about serving God, I realized I was doing something, being head of the sound room. Another way I serve God is through my blog providing christian music, special posts that are christ related, and everyday topics that I can relate in a religious perspective. Even though I don't get much publicity like other blogs I have listed, even though I would like more, if I can just reach one person, I have done my job. For those who question themselves, you should ask yourself to look deep within yourself and think:
What kind of action have I done that has a Christ like attitude?
After you ask yourself that question, some answer could be: Are you being a good friend to people? Do you respect others? Have you ever helped anybody out when they needed it most?
These are just a few awesome ways that show you serve God. Never lose hope in yourself, always believe that you are useful in some kind of way, if you are happy with yourself, that's usually all that matters.

The Super Bowl

2006-02-05T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well, today is the big Super Bowl game, and I wonder who is going to win? I know very little about football, and honestly it never was a big deal to me, but I'm thinking, maybe if I go for one of these two teams, it will be a little more interesting! I honestly think the Steelers will come out as the champs for this game. What do you think?

Live update: STEELERS WON!! WOOOOOOHOOOOO! I'm so good! Post your comments now!

Video Updated with Steelers victory.

Heaven Is A Place On Earth

2006-02-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

When the night falls down
I wait for you
And you come around
And the world's alive
With the sound of kids
On the street outside

When you walk into the room
You pull me close and we start to move
And we're spinning with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love...

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

When I feel alone
I reach for you
And you bring me home
When I'm lost at sea
I hear your voice
And it carries me

In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

(instrumental)

In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

This song is a pretty awesome song if you pay close attention to the lyrics, the only thing I find wrong with the song is the main phrase: Heaven is a place on Earth, that phrase is very misleading and very unreal just by thinking about the world today, nothing is perfect. One of the truthful phrases of this song: In Heaven love comes first, to me that sounds pretty accurate since God is love. Thinking about the phrase: In this world we're just beginning to understand the miracle of living, some of us in fact most of us don't understand the miracle of living, at least it isn't easy for people to learn to live the way they should, I'm a good example, as I learned in church sin is fun, if it wasn't fun we wouldn't do it. A phrase that is very meaningfull is the phrase: When I feel alone
I reach for you and you bring me home when I'm lost at sea I hear your voice and it carries me, this reminds me of God, because when we are alone he is always there for us to lead us in the right direction, when we are lost, we may not hear his voice directly, but we can hear him through others. The music video is below.

The Door Is Starting To Open

2006-01-31T16:03:00.000-08:00

If people remember me from the years ago, and last year including, I was a totally secluded individual. I still sometimes am very secluded, but I'm getting so much better about going beyond the seclusive life. I guess I should start where this change began. When I was at the lowest point in my life, my best friend Sean was there for me and was a grand encouragement for me, but it just didn't seem like enough and I was back to scene 1, then in the Fall of 2005 or Summer of 2005, I started being a little more active in church, which was slowly bringing forth a new side of me, which some people noticed. Of course I still wasn't satisfied enough with the way things were still going, because there were still people who really never knew I existed or at least totally forgot who I was and I wanted to make myself visible, this drastic change happend at one of the Praise Everywhere events, which I think was I think one or two Praise Everywhere events ago, but that's besides the point, what brought this change was Jake Kaufman. When I first saw this person, which was like a year or two ago, I thought to myself, why is he a Youth Minister, he doesn't have the maturity of one. I finally realized by how people act around him he seems like a pretty fun person! My problem there was, with my social status being not the best in the world, I probably wasn't popular enough to even talk to him, but I gave it a shot and of course my thoughts about popularity shouldn't have gotten in the way of talking to someone, and I made a new friend! Jake was truly one of the first people who allowed me to come out of my seclusive shell, and George Welty, God bless his soul, I think he didn't really know who I was until he met me in person technically for the first time, which means I'm starting to be visible! This most recent Praise Everywhere has been another way for me to let people know that I exist and the fact that I'm really trying to be a better person. I can't wait till the next Praise Everywhere!

A Spiritual Boost

2006-01-29T17:56:00.000-08:00

Today's Praise Everywhere activity at Dunbar was the BEST of all the others I have been to. Jake did an excellent job with his sermon, it opened many doors in my heart, that I had to think about and in ways I started seeing things a little more differently. Georges sermon, it just touched my heart, because when I see people suffering to such a degree, I wish I could help them and there always seems to be nothing I can do. The food was awesome as usual, and I met some new people, I'm still pretty shy at meeting people, but I feel I'm getting better at it. I wish it was a little longer than what it was, because when I'm there I always feel a great peace of mind from the harshness of the real world, it's like a very minute piece of heaven is here and then goes. The next piece of heaven is Winterfest!!! I can't wait for that awesome day to come!

Nothing Without Christ

2006-01-26T18:11:00.000-08:00

I was like a blind man on a road that led nowhere just an empty-hearted beggar in desperate need of help I was poor in spirit, but he was rich in love I was down to nothin' when he came to lift me up now I will never let myself forget all he has done how he came and rescued me and where he brought me from..

Chorus:
I am nothing without christ, he is everything to me he's the reason that I live, he is my only need I know I couldn't make it throughone day without jesus in my life I am nothing, nothing without Christ.

There is nothing good in me that did not come from him nothing I could boast of that he did not give from the moment I cried out to him to heal my troubled soul he welcomed me with open arms, said all that's mine is yours now I will never let myself forget all he has done how he came and rescued me and where he brought me from..

Bridge:
Like a wave without a seashore or a kingdom with no king without jesus in my life, I know I wouldn't be complete..

Chorus(2x)

I loved this song when I first heard it. I think it has such a powerful meaning to it.

Final Decision..

2006-01-24T18:29:00.000-08:00

Since last year, I tried to keep in touch with my best friend, but this *relationship* he is in just went too far....and he finally started ignoring me for good. So I finally made up my mind, I'm completely removing him from my thoughts, so I don't go through any more sad moments. I sort of feel relieved that I got rid of a long term problem like this. This event might have been a sign from God, that there are better things on Earth to go for besides waiting to see if some people can change. I just hope that I don't have to make this kind of decision again for quite a while.

A Tale of Two Kingdoms

2006-01-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there existed two kingdoms, one called Hope, and one called Despair. The people of Hope Kingdom lived life to the fullest and praised God everyday and the people of Despair Kingdom were always depressed to the fullest and worshiped a golden monument. One day a disturbing note came to both kingdoms saying: If you don't love your enemy, people from your kingdoms will leave and live a life beyond hope and despair. Both kingdoms didn't truly understand what the meaning of the letter was trying to say, so they continued there lives the way they were. All of a sudden people of both kingdoms started leaving and never to be found, then they realized that life beyond hope and despair was death, and now know that the people leaving were leaving for good. The kingdoms realized that they are both people and share the same goals if only they would worship one God. They didn't wait any longer, they joined kingdoms to become the ultimate kingdom which became known as Love. Thanks to the love of the kingdoms the ones who left came back, and everyone rejoiced.

I know my story probably sounded a little corny for some, but there is awesome meaning behind it. If we all love one another, there is hope for all and if there is hope for all, I think there will be more love. This is one of the ways I think Heaven will be like, a whole world of family, loving each other, with no more despair.

Pros and Cons of Living My Life.

2006-01-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

My life is more complicated than what people see of me in person. There are positive and negative sides to being me. For the positive side, with me being sheltered from some of the bad events of the world, I know barely any sexual references what so ever, so I can't understand half the dirty topics that others speak about. People usually trust me more than others because of my honesty, and they can talk to me on a one on one basis if they are having trouble. I made a vow to stay a virgin till marriage. The negative parts of being so sheltered, is the fact that I can be pretty ignorant and arrogant about certain things, like when people talk about homosexuality, which is a very difficult topic for me to understand at times. I had a small conversation with a close friend of mine, and I accidentally said something that sort of bugged him, because he has friends that are gay, I felt really terrible about it, but I wish I understood things like that better, so I wouldn't have to go through that again..I think that going to college will close some of my sheltered habits away, which is a good thing in some cases, because I can finally learn and understand the ways of the real world. I still wonder if anything I expressed here is wrong, but I just had to let this out eventually, so I don’t make any mistakes later.

Winterfest Warm Up Reflections

2006-01-14T15:02:00.000-08:00

The Winterfest Warm Up was more than what I anticipated, over the week, it was awesome! All the activities were very entertaining, and had such great meaning. The guest speakers did a wonderful job, but only Jake and Toney's presentation of Unity, had the most significant effect on my physical, spiritual, and mental life, I love them very much and I respect them so much! My christian battery is very full, and I felt like I was part of a family when this topic was finally discussed, and I hope to feel this way for the rest of my life! The food, was excellent and tasted like a professional chef made it thanks to Reda! I can't wait till Winterfest!

What is true friendship?

2006-01-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

I'm back to the reoccuring question that my life seems to be circling around...friendship. It seems that I can't keep any at school, due to pathetic reasons. I do have some wonderful friends at church and college, the college friends I will see soon, and I will soon lose physical association with ones at church. Why does life have to have a drastic change in just a few years? I hope I can find the answers to my questions, so I can finally let go of one of the problems that weigh my life down. Oh God, please ease some of this pain, so I can move on peacefully.

Life is random.

2006-01-08T17:59:00.000-08:00

When I was at the Andersons house yesterday, kicking everyones butt at DDR of course, we played another game called Apples to Apples. The objective of this game is to collect four green cards, but the only way to do it is by the person judging what cards each player layed out to see which one best suits the topic of the green card. Well as lucky a guy I am, I get the most random, offtopic, and not to mention stupid cards for each of the topics, and somehow managed to get at least 3 of the 4 green cards. For example if one green card said, Mystical, the cards I had did not even come close, so of course I use the looking for a job card, and get the green card! Life seems to work the same way, even tho something does truly fit in with the topic that was issued, it always depends on the person judging how they feel about what makes something really matter, logic is not always the best game to play in life, and thats what makes things more interesting. I think God made life, sort of like the Apples to Apples game, not everything has to meet a certain criteria, even things off the wall can make a difference, which gives everyone a chance to live the life they want, and hopefully they make the right decisions.

The Book of Daniel

2006-01-06T20:03:00.000-08:00

Today at 9pm, a new TV show called The Book of Daniel began, what makes this show so unique is that it shows life as a christian is not so perfect, in fact this show portrays the life of a christian family that has so many troubles it's not even funny (well actually it sort of is). When the Reverand is going through troubling time, especially when he takes some type of drug that I guess calms his nerves, Jesus actually appears and helps him out, Jesus in this show is pretty funny!

Here is the Reverand of the show. He is by far such an odd imitation and example of how a reverand should act. The guy on the left is well...Jesus! A very cheap imitation.

This show is on every Friday, sometime around 9 or 10pm. It's pretty good, just don't take offense of some of the actions.

Power of Love

2006-01-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sure your first views from the title make it seem like the song, but there is so much more meaning to love than what that song states. When I was young I thought of love as something so simple and sometimes didn't know what it was, but as I grew older, I realized that love is more than just what your parents give you..it's what others give as well. I really never started feeling love from anyone until the latter part of last year, and it was a wave of fresh air, when I was going through troubled times. I finally feel apart of my youth group more than ever now, possibly because I have Seniority, but how I found those feelings probably doesn't matter, it's the fact that it finally happened, and it grows stronger everyday. This is what I would call a spiritual family...

Life Beyond a Doubt

2006-01-03T13:57:00.000-08:00

When people say that life is terrible, I believe what they say, but....there is a positive atmosphere about life that is completely overlooked, I myself am starting to figure it out. For instance on rainy days, people feel depressed, but I feel at peace, and calm about it, when others complain that the school food is terrible, I think it tastes good (since I rarely eat it and I'm not supposed to), when people get dumped by someone they thought they *loved*, I think to myself, it's probably for the best, you could have gotten into a lot of trouble if you stuck with that relationship. When people complain that they don't have something to believe in, I think to myself how fortunate I am to have God to believe in, and wonder why they don't believe the same way. I know for certain, that I still take what life has to offer for granted, but I'm starting to realize that not everything has to be doubted, you just have to look deeper to see what it really means. Sure finding people to be with can still be troublesome at times, but I got used to being alone a lot and will surely find someone or a few people that I can be great friends with, God has a plan for me, and someday I will discover what he wants me to accomplish. Life is too short, don't let the little things strip your life away.

Happy New Years!!!

2005-12-31T06:42:00.000-08:00

The New Year has finally come! This big event comes with good and bad happenings during the night, noting that people truly do abuse this holiday to get drunk, trashed, and party in a bad manner. On the other hand some people reflect on how they can change for the good of the new year, I for one am definately reflecting on what kind of change I should make, but at the same time, very anxious for the church New Years Eve party tonight! I hope people that trash themselves tonight realize that it serves no purpose for the new year and could have celebrated in a more responsible and respectful manner. I hope you all have a splendid New Years Eve and plan good for the next year!

Open The Eyes Of My Heart Lord...

2005-12-30T20:16:00.000-08:00

Open the eyes of my heart Lord,

Open the eyes of my heart,

I want to see you,

I want to see you.

To see you high and lifted up,

Shining in the light of your glory,

Pour our your power and love,

As we sing holy, holy, holy.

These words...are starting to make more sense to me, they bring a more positive perspective and as well a bright perspective of what we will be waiting for in Heaven! One can only imagine, actually one can't even imagine what wonderful things will greet us when we make it to the gates of Heaven! I will try to become a better christian and take a greater holy stand, I know I can do it!

An unusual burning desire...

2005-12-28T13:19:00.000-08:00

Ever since christmas ended, for some reason I feel like my christian walk has gotten stronger. I really don't understand what made it grow, but I feels pretty good, I know that reading Jakes and Toney's blogs have been quite an influence, but something else is causing this wonderful feeling. I'm even more pumped for Winterfest more than ever!

Christian Music Videos

2005-12-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

I found a nice collection of songs, that we all know. And for some reason some of them look like they came from our Winterfest Trips. Enjoy!

Here I Am To Worship
http://www.youtube.com/?v=TuzicypsS4Y

For All You've Done
http://www.youtube.com/?v=WxvDEg-L3mo

King Of Majesty
http://www.youtube.com/?v=5c6hT1GGlRE

The Spirit In Your Eyes

2005-12-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

I decided to make up a song, on how I feel about people in life, people I respect. I hope it makes sense.
*
When I woke up one morning, to a world of mystery, all I saw was bitterness and hatred, a terrible never ending story.

The day I thought the world would end, all of a sudden a ray of hope came from someone, that made the world seem less dim.

(Chorus)
It was in your eyes that a wish came true, a wish for peace and happiness, that would never make others blue. It was the Spirit in your Eyes..

As I walk that narrow path alone, depression walked on in, and the only thing I saw around me was the darkness in my heart.

I didn't know where to turn, until I saw a light at the end. I knew that someone was watching over me, possibly my long lost friend.

(Chorus)
It was in your eyes that symbolized love from above, a warm feeling that few could ever achieve. It was the Spirit in your Eyes..

We finally met eye to eye and talked about the one called God, the true meaning of what life is about, the one who knows all.

I truly turned my life around, I could see things so clear. When I'm in fear and doubt, I should fear no more, as I can pray, hope for the best and live another day.

(Chorus)
It was in your eyes that I finally found a way to figure life out, a wise and virtuous friend that seems like God around and about. It was the Spirit in your Eyes..and that Spirit will never die.

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-25T08:46:00.000-08:00

Well, today I performed for the first time at church singing: My Grownup Christmas List. I made it through very well. I recieved wonderful gifts. This year has been the best Christmas yet! I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

A world of unknown sadness...

2005-12-21T18:50:00.000-08:00

My depression has been acting up for some reason this week, I randomly cry sometimes...my heart aches....I wish I knew why I feel the way I do right now. Is this pain I'm feeling a sign? Will this make me stronger? I wish God could explain to me why I'm going through this..my emotions are all mixed up..for once in my life I would like these mysterious burdens to go away..it's as if a part of me is gone...what is my life coming to?! Can I get through this? I want to know! Maybe someone will be able to answer my prayer, and lighten my load...

Whittaker Case: Why won't it end?!

2005-12-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

I honestly thought that this event was over, until today, finding out that it still lives on...it frustrates me so much! What is the real answer behind this! From what I see and hear, that girl honestly in a technical form, killed herself. She could have been living to this very day if she wasn't making stupid decisions! My comments on this topic may seem apathetic, but people takes things out of proportion...I mean they make this case seem like the end of the world when surely there are many of the same things going on everywhere, just because she was a rich child, and could go beyond her boundaries and to me test what nature can actually do to you, and with that she payed the ultimate price. Teenagers need to gain some intellegence before they those consequences happen, I don't plan on being one of those people, I want to live life to the fullest!

Church + Cliques= Bad news..

2005-12-14T13:40:00.000-08:00

There is one thing about being a teenager that I hate most and that is dealing with the multitude of cliques that are around at school. I don't belong to one, because I don't have good enough social status to obtain such things, but I sometimes wish I could be in one to feel that kind of importance. Church hmm how to describe church and the many cliques they have...THEY DON'T NEED THEM!!! And yet they some how get in there anyways. It really separates people from one another and we lose connection. To me, if you have a special status at school or if you are an adult and you have a special status at work...LEAVE IT THERE! I just wish it would stop, it's unfair and sometimes it's just plain uncalled for.

Almost back to normal.

2005-12-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

After the major drag I have been going through lately, I think it's almost over, I just hope that some of the thoughts from my previous post are changed to the positive side instead of what they are now..maybe one of these days that will happen. What I pray for the most is to have many trusting friends I can go to, I do have some from church, but you can never have to many trustworthy friends..if you know me in some way and you are reading this post maybe you could be one if you want.

True feelings..

2005-12-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes...my thoughts are so heavy, it makes me feel bad, and it makes me feel alone at times. I always feel like screaming on the inside! I cry, but no one sees it, I try to be someone people want to be around, but just can't seem to play the cards right. I want to express myself to people, but can't find the words to say..I want to find true friendship. That would be a miracle...

Happy ThanksGiving Everyone!

2005-11-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

God has blessed me a very nice Thanksgiving day, and semi-beautiful atmosphere to celebrate it in!

The first Thanksgiving was probably not what we think it was.
The Thanksgiving we now celebrate--a feast of togetherness between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans--was not the original gathering.

It is true that Squanto and his fellow Native Americans helped the Pilgrims to grow crops and get sap from trees and survive the harsh winters of what would become New England. But the very first harvest feast that these two peoples enjoyed was not called Thanksgiving.
Rather it was a celebration of the fall harvest, when vegetables were pulled from the ground and off stalks and made ready for a big meal.

Pilgrims and Native Americans dined together at the same tables, yes, and they played games together and demonstrated their bow-and-arrow and musket-shooting skills to each other. But they didn't call it Thanksgiving until 1624.

That year, William Bradford, the governor of the Plymouth Colony, proclaimed a day of thanksgiving that was really a day of fasting and prayer. (Remember, fasting is when you don't eat. So, Thanksgiving started out as a day of not eating.) And the day the members of the Plymouth Colony celebrated this day of fasting and prayer in thanksgiving was November 29.
So we have two ideas coming together: a day of thanksgiving for the fall harvest, on which people fasted and prayed, and a great feast to celebrate the bounty of the fall harvest. Since both activities celebrated the same thing--the fall harvest--it's only natural that they eventually merged (like so many other American holidays).

This merged celebration continued informally through the years, until 1863, when President Abraham Lincoln declared the fourth Thursday of November a national holiday called Thanksgiving.

How did we decide on eating Turkey? Well, that's another story.

I quoted this paragraph off another site, so it's not mine.

Can't wait to graduate!

2005-11-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

Ooooh, it seems like it's going to take forever to graduate from high school, and after the Marshall University Open House tour, it makes me want to graduate even more since I found out my best friend goes there! God has definately answered my prayer and now I won't feel alone anymore!

To be logical or not to be logical.

2005-11-02T18:22:00.000-08:00

Today in church, we had a discussion on multiple topics, and one of those topics ended up in a discussion on if God is logical. I for one don't think so due to everything on earth isn't very logically in tact. The only true logical beings to me are your scientists, big time professors, and people who just want to be logical. One of the topics about logic was love, which I also think is illogical, due to the fact that really, love has no real boundaries unless it is abused in that kind of fashion. In a logical way of thinking (If I were logical) that would be saying that you have to love a certain person and stick with that person. I pretty much find logic to be a sort of lazy way of figuring something out a better way. To me thinking illogically has a more broad approach and makes decisions more simpler to make. I don't know if I could survive this world based on complete logic, sometimes logic is ok, but not my most favorite style of thought.