Where do I belong?

Lately my heart has been feeling very heavy...and my spiritual fire feels like it is only flickering. A lot of changes have occured and I guess maybe I'm not used to it..the changes I have made to myself have somewhat been successful, but some situation I still couldn't get passed and that makes the burden even heavier. People at church have begun to notice I'm not my usual self and I won't tell anyone why...if you read this blog, you will know some of my information. Lately I have been feeling very down in my church, I feel like I'm not growing spiritually anymore and it makes me very sad, I feel that things are falling apart, and this may seem cowardice, but it makes me have thoughts of wanting to move on to a new church...but I hope that these feelings will subside. There is a song I heard a few times by Michael W. Smith called Place In This World, and it used to never affect me in anyway, but now I sometimes cry when I hear it, because I can now understand and relate to the words. Here are the words and the song.

Place In This World

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart thats hopeful
A head thats full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like im

Chorus:
Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find
My place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me
Hear me asking
Where do I belong
Is there a vision
That I can call my own
Show me im

Chorus

Why Can't I Let Go?

Well it's been a while since I have posted on this blog, but I felt a need to today. As the title says and asks: Why Can't I Let Go? As of now I have been struggling with myself and people. I have talked to a close friend of mine who is a minister about this, and he has helped significantly, but that question always pops in my head...I believe it is now dangerous to have people you knew close to home be chosen as a great friend or possibly hero. It might be just me, but I get far too attached to people and now I regret that unique trait I have. I have already been in the process of trying to "forget" certain people as best I could to relieve some emotional stress, but I just can't seem to do it...I guess if people have that great an impact on me I'm not ment to forget them, but when those I look up to don't communicate with me it brings my spirits down significantly. I don't know what's to happen in the future, but God obviously has a reason for why I feel this way, and all I can do is just go with the flow. The song by Michael W. Smith: Friends gives me quite a peace of mind, but at the same time can bring tears to my eyes due to the fact that I don't always feel that way.

Friends

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
Cant believe the hopes hes granted
Means a chapter in your life is through
But well keep you close as always
It wont even seem youve gone
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus:
And friends are friends forever
If the lords the lord of them
And a friend will not say never
cause the welcome will not end
Though its hard to let you go
In the fathers hands we know
That a lifetimes not too long to live as friends.

With the faith and love gods given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy youll live in
Is the strength that now you show

But well keep you close as always
It wont even seem youve gone
cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

Chorus